Are you struggling to reach a longstanding goal?  The longer these goals stay on the to-do list, the harder they are to achieve. Why? Because these goals require us to make a behavioral change, which requires consistency, real determination, greater self-awareness, and more often than not, someone to hold us accountable to do what we say we will do. These are the goals coaching targets and helps individuals achieve, by guiding them through the obstacles that stand in the way of achieving them.  

But most likely, you’re failing to reach your goals for one of a few common reasons that many people like you struggle with. Which of these reasons applies to you?

Reason 1: Your Goal is Too Big 

Dream big – I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times, because sound bites to this effect literally surround us in the media. Having a big goal is fantastic, but every big goal is made up of a series of small steps to reach the bigger goal. These small steps must be defined and tracked in order to achieve the big dream. Even Confucius himself stated that, “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals…adjust the action steps.”  

HBR’s piece, 5 Ways to Make Sure You Achieve Your Goals This Year states that “When we’re looking at one major goal, we tend to see it as one action. Often, we become overwhelmed and put it off until a later date. Instead, break that one major goal down into smaller pieces and do one thing every day that gets you closer to it.”

So, whether it’s an amount of weight you want to lose, a new skill you want to learn, or a work position you want to achieve, start by breaking down the dream into its smaller goals and make a weekly plan outlining how you will accomplish each of these small goals. 

Reason 2: You don’t have good reasons why you want to achieve it 

We set goals more often than we think even when we don’t articulate them. When we don’t articulate the reasons behind a goal, it’s easy to fail to achieve it. Back to the example of losing weight, many people often just want to lose weight so they like their appearance more. Even though that reason is valid, it’s hard to stay motivated when that is your only reason for losing weight. When you take the time to list out the reasons behind your weight loss goal, whether it’s because they want to treat their body better, or focus on improving nutrition or health in general, you’re more motivated because you’ve attributed purpose to the goal. 

To define that “why”, HBR using the following statement when making a new goal: 

“I want to ______ so that I can ________.” 

Reason 3: You Haven’t Focused on Repeatable, Consistent Habits

Create repeatable, consistent habits that will enable you to achieve your small goals. Research highlights the importance of habits: 

You’re far more likely to succeed if you start by making small behavioral changes now to set you on the right path, as opposed to jumping in all at once and expecting to do things perfectly. Why? Research shows that it can take anywhere between 18 to 66 days to change a habit or create a new one.

Making small behavioral changes is much more practical than “jumping in all at once.” Also, striving for and achieving small goals along the way sets up a positive cycle of goal setting, learning, execution and achievement that motivates and empowers us to know we can reach our goals. 

Reason 4: You’re Not Holding Yourself Accountable 

Another reason we struggle to reach our goals is because we fail to hold ourselves accountable. We attribute our failure to reach our goals to external factors we deem beyond our control, or to simply lacking motivation ourselves. It’s easy and straightforward to set and reach goals when you’re feeling motivated and clear-minded, but stress, uncertainty and pressure are triggers that cause us to revert to the past unconstructive behaviors that impeded us from making progress on our goals to begin with.

One way to hold yourself accountable is by journaling to write down your explicit goal and how you will get there. Writing about the good and bad moments – the moments when you feel you make progress and the moments when you feel you take a step back – builds our self awareness about our weaknesses that kick in at high pressure moments. 

Another effective way to hold yourself accountable and stay on track is by working with a coach. Vetted, experienced coaches are trained and qualified to work with you to better define your goals and hold you accountable. 

Based on her personal experiences with coaching and the work ideamix coaches do with their clients, ideamix’s CEO, Sam Jayanti sums up coaching thus: 

A coach is an accountability partner to both help you figure out your goals and hold you accountable for the changes you’re trying to make to achieve them.

Reason 5: You’re Too Hard on Yourself

Surrounded as we are by hustle culture, pithy soundbites and the oversharing that social media enables, it’s almost a default to be too hard on ourselves.The over-simplifications on social media make it easy to set ourselves unachievable large goals, be unrealistic about how quickly we can achieve them, and then blame our lack of goal achievement on reasons beyond our control. 

In addition, we fail to see or anticipate the inevitable bumps and setbacks we must confront on any path we set ourselves because media accounts of paths to success are often depicted through rose-colored glasses. By recognizing that you will most likely have setbacks, you adjust your expectations to be realistic, to build your resilience and to feel in greater control of yourself and your goals.

Actually achieving goals is something you can do, not just something you constantly wish you could do. Creating smaller goals, finding ways to hold yourself accountable, and not being too hard on yourself are tips you can follow to bring those larger goals down to earth – well within your reach, where you can actually meet them. Invest in yourself by working with a coach to achieve your goals faster and more efficiently – it’s an investment that positions you to achieve your purpose by ensuring you meet the goals you set for yourself consistently.